Life Thoughts · Rambles

My fear of close friendships

(long post/rant to save my friends the dread of hearing this again lol)

In every friend circle/group, I’ve always had that one friend, whom I would be close with.  And to those close friends, I would tell them everything – from the simplest to the most complex. But within that small group of close friends, of different groups, I would have some who I don’t really talk with but still have heart to heart talks from time to time, or have long 2 am talks.

There are also another group of close friends in which I don’t know how I feel about anymore. I don’t like to play victim, when I say this, but it’s honestly the best way to describe how I feel. My feeling is that I feel ‘dropped’. What does that mean? It means where one side just suddenly stops talking or hanging out as often or anymore.  It makes me wonder what did I do wrong. Was it me or did something just happen that happened between us.  The feeling of being dropped is like breaking up with a significant other, but that other is your close friend.  It raises questions that you question when you break up with a significant other. I would question myself : If I’m going to be hurt in the end, why should I invest in these close friendship in the first place? Why not just protect myself in the beginning so I won’t feel this way in the end? Why should I value this close friendships when the other clearly doesn’t? That feeling of being dropped just really hurts.

I was talking to my friend over dinner about this.  She couldn’t answer. But she did say  this – some friendships come and go. And maybe those ‘bad’ ones were the ones that just needed to go.

I thought about it more. I came to a similar conclusion. But added a little more. Some friends may have hurt me, but its possible that I have also hurt them too. And I should accept that those friends might come and go. Yes I will feel sad and hurt, but that feeling won’t last. Because, I also friends who were there for me when I needed them the most. Its those friends and friendships that I should cherish. Because those are the friends that I can really call my close friends.

(if you made it here. Thank you  cuz it means a lot ❤ )

Daily Prompts · Life Thoughts


Daily prompt triggered a random hair thought.

My natural hair colour is black. I started dying my hair back in 2013 with a box dye. I went from black to red – brown, which at the time was more red that faded into brown. And ever since then, my hair was always tinted brown or dyed brown with another colour mixed in. After a random conversation with a friend, I wonder what I would look like with black hair. Hmmm maybe instead of getting root touch ups, I’ll just chop off the dyed bits and keep my hair black.

What’s your natural hair colour?

What’s your first thought when you see the word “BLACK” ? Check out these posts to see what other amazing people have wrote here 🙂

Cheers 🙂


Daily Prompts · Life Thoughts


Im not sure where I’m going with this prompt post. But here goes nothing :).

As we get older, we are less willing to take moves that are considered risky to society.  We like to stay comfortable . But when we see someone taking that risky move, no matter how big the risk is, we immediately ask if they have gone crazy!

Risk also comes with rewards. Depending on the situation, the reward may be a little different . For example, the spontaneous move to start anew in a different city, or even country, is a crazy idea. Risky because it means leaving everything behind to start new again. For sure ,that’s something everyone will ask if the person has lost their mind . But the reward , to me at least,  is this is a chance to explore a new place and a new culture, to be exposed to different experiences, but also to learn more about one self .

I guess what I’m trying to say is: maybe we should start supporting and applauding those who take risks. They probably have put a lot of thought into it before making that risky move.

There’s risk to everything we do. So why not take that chance? Life is too short to not take any risks 🙂


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Daily Prompts · Life Thoughts

Organize thoughts

Maybe its just me. I always need something/ someone to help me organize the chaos of thoughts in my head.

When I need something to organize my thoughts, its usually related to school or things thats on my to do list. In my mind, that list seems really long and jumbled. But when I write it out, its actually a relatively short list. Why? because in my unorganized cloud of thoughts, the list has a lot of repeats. Hence, when organized the list is really short.

When I need someone to organize my thoughts, its usually related to life problems (i.e family things, problems etc.) They usually hear my unorganized thoughts in a massive ramble. They pick up the important points. And then organize it in a list for me. Again, what may seemed a lot things to organize isn’t very long. But having friends to organize my thoughts sometimes helps me see things differently. New ways and perspectives that I didn’t think of before.

Sometimes what may seem a lot isn’t actually a lot. Don’t be afraid to ask a friend for help when things seem overwhelming. Real friends won’t mind helping you organize your thoughts. Of course, you shouldn’t/wouldn’t mind to the same either. Because that’s what friends are for 🙂

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